I don’t know what “Java” is, but I let it do whatever it wants to my computer. I feel like such a slut.
- Dave Barry
If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
- Unknown
One machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
All I have to do to empty shopping carts online is click a button. It’s way easier than the grocery store, where I have to knock them over.
- Bridger Winegar
The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late.
- Seymour Cray
What did people do when they went to the bathroom before smart phones?
- Aaron Mervis
It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.
- Clive James
Life is too short to remove USB safely.
- Unknown
It’s supposed to be automatic, but actually you have to push this button.
- John Brunner
I’m not anti-social, I’m just not user-friendly.
- Unknown
To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer.
- Bill Vaughan
Technology is a word that describes something that doesn’t work yet.
- Douglas Adams
We’re not like other design agencies.
- Every design agency
Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
- Unknown
Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.
- Steve Wozniak
Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.
- Clifford Stoll
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
- Unknown
We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.
- Douglas Adams
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- Emo Philips
Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
- Andy Borowitz
The population of Earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called LinkedIn.
- Dave Barry
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
- Unknown
Man is a slow, sloppy and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and stupid.
- William M. Kelly
The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people.
- Karl Marx
Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
- Jeff Pesis
Thanks to the internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
- Andy Borowitz
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
- Unknown
If brute force doesn’t solve your problems, then you aren’t using enough.
- Unknown
If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
- Unknown
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
- Unknown
Any fool can use a computer. Many do.
- Unknown